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Hey there,
This week's question comes from a reader named C:
"My dad passed away almost a year ago. People keep telling me grief gets smaller with time. It hasn't gotten smaller. It's just gotten different. I don't know if something's wrong with me or if this is just how it is now."
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Here's something about monarch butterflies.
Every fall, monarchs migrate from Canada and the United States to a single forest in central Mexico, a cluster of oyamel firs in the mountains of Michoacán. The same trees, the same branches, every year.
Here's the part that stops people: no single butterfly makes the round trip. The ones that arrive in Mexico in November have never been there. Their parents haven't been there. It takes four generations to complete one full cycle. The monarchs that find that forest are navigating by the memory of great-grandparents they never met, to a place they have never seen, and they find it anyway.
The people who flew there before are gone. The route is still inside them.
Grief doesn't get smaller. That's not how it works and it was never an accurate promise. What happens is you learn to navigate with it. It stops being the only thing you feel and starts being part of how you move, part of what you reach for, part of what you notice in a room. The people we've lost don't shrink into the past. They become orientation.
Your dad is in the route now. Not behind you. In you.
Nothing is wrong with you. You're just learning which direction is home.
—Gabi & Bea
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