Pretty wings, ugly truth

Hey there,

At first glance, the spotted lanternfly looks like it belongs in a fashion spread. Black polka dots on soft gray wings, flashes of crimson underneath—it’s giving avant-garde butterfly.

But here’s the twist: it doesn’t flutter harmlessly around your garden. It sucks the life out of trees. Literally. Lanternflies pierce bark and slurp sap, leaving plants drained, sticky, and wide open to mold. Whole vineyards and orchards have suffered from their sugar addiction.

The irony? They can’t even fly well. More like chaotic jumpers who hitch rides on trucks, cars, firewood, and—yes—your patio furniture. A stowaway that spreads faster than gossip.

And while they don’t bite humans, their secret weapon is persistence. One female lays 30–50 eggs in neat, mud-brown rows on almost any surface: tree trunks, rocks, siding, even lawn furniture. What looks like dried gum? Future infestation.

If you see lanternfly egg masses, scrape them into a bag with rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer. Squishing adults is fair game too—your garden will thank you. And if you’ve got grapes, hops, or fruit trees, keep an eye out. A little vigilance now saves a lot of energy later.

Lanternflies remind us: destruction doesn’t always come with fangs. Sometimes it comes dressed in polka dots, sipping quietly until the whole system collapses.

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Until next week,
Gabi & Bea