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“Being liked isn’t the same thing as being free.”
Have you ever shared something…
and then immediately wondered how it landed?
Did they like it?
Did it sound right?
Should I have said it differently?
You call it being thoughtful.
Being socially aware.
Reading the room.
But really?
That’s this week’s bug:
The Approval Butterfly
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The Approval Butterfly
The Approval Butterfly is graceful, aware, and highly attuned to how she’s perceived. She doesn’t just express herself… she edits herself in real time.
In nature, butterflies are delicate and visible.
They’re meant to be seen.
Beautiful? Yes.
Free? Not always.
In real life, this bug shows up when your expression becomes dependent on someone else’s reaction.
You stop asking what you think.
You start asking how it will be received.
The Butterfly whispers:
“Make sure they like you.”
“Don’t say too much.”
“Adjust a little so it lands better.”
And sure, that can make you very well-liked.
But it doesn’t make you fully expressed.
It creates a polished, palatable version of you…
and calls that authenticity.
Signs It’s Active
You replay conversations after they happen
You tweak your opinions depending on who you’re with
You hesitate to share things that might not land perfectly
You feel relief when you’re validated
You feel slightly off when you’re not
The Antidote (Do This Today)
Say one thing exactly how you mean it.
No softening.
No adjusting mid-sentence.
No checking for reactions.
Let it land how it lands.
Then notice what happens.
Because freedom doesn’t come from being approved of.
It comes from no longer needing to be.
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Reflection
Where are you trading truth for likability?
And what might change if you trusted your voice… before anyone else did?
—Gabi & Bea