The Control Mite

You know when you’re doing everything right…

You’re planning ahead.
You’re staying disciplined.
You’re thinking through every angle.

But instead of feeling calm, you feel tight.

Your jaw clenches.
Your shoulders stay raised.
You can’t fully rest, even when there’s nothing left to do.

You tell yourself you’re just being responsible.

But underneath it, there’s a fear humming:
“If I loosen my grip, something will fall apart.”

That’s this week’s parasite:

The Control Mite

It feeds on micromanagement and convinces you that vigilance equals safety.
Its favorite trick is disguising fear as preparedness.

The Control Mite shows up when uncertainty enters the room:

You don’t have all the answers
You can’t predict someone else’s behavior
You’re waiting on a decision that isn’t yours
You’re stepping into a new chapter
You care deeply about the outcome

That’s when it whispers:

“Stay on top of everything.”
“Don’t relax yet.”
“If you let go, you’ll regret it.”
“You have to hold this together.”

The Mite doesn’t want resolution.

It wants constant management.

• Overthinking logistics that don’t need control
• Difficulty delegating or trusting others
• Tension in the body even during rest
• Irritation when plans change
• Feeling responsible for outcomes that aren’t yours
• Exhaustion without obvious cause

The Control Mite convinces you that peace must be earned through effort.

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Because at some point, control worked.

Being hyper-aware prevented disappointment.
Managing everything minimized chaos.
Responsibility became your armor.

But what once protected you now constricts you.

The Control Mite feeds on self-burdening.

It starves when you allow uncertainty to exist without interference.

If your nervous system feels like it’s always “on duty,” here’s one way to release the grip:

When you notice yourself tightening, say internally:

“I don’t need to hold this so tightly.”

Then do one releasing action:

Unclench your jaw
Drop your shoulders
Exhale slowly
Let one thing remain unfinished on purpose

You’re teaching your system:

Nothing bad happens when I loosen.

Parasites can’t survive where trust replaces tension.

Where are you gripping out of fear instead of necessity?

And what might become possible if you let life meet you halfway?

— Gabi & Bea